


The Summers We Had

by shawnie1718



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit RPF
Genre: (only four year age gap), (only in the beginning), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past and Present, Sex, Sloppy Makeouts, Slow Burn, nick amaro/amanda rollins (mentioned), rafael was a counselor, sonny was a camper, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-05 20:11:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shawnie1718/pseuds/shawnie1718
Summary: "In any other place, in any other time, we would be together.""Then why not now, why not here?"In which Dominick (Sonny) Carisi went to a summer camp and met an odd counselor who rode a bike everywhere.Soulmates are very peculiar.  Most people are born with the first words their destined other will say to them.  Sonny had no such luck.  Everyone, up until Sonny's peculiar day at camp, thought Sonny didn't have one.  It broke Sonny's heart.  He would spend hours imagining what they looked like.  Imagining what they would say to him.  Because, when you don't have a mark, the options are endless.Rafael was basically the opposite.  What kind of dipshit says "well that didn't fucking go as planned."  So, great, his soulmate is an idiot.  He made a vow to himself when he was ten years old, that he would find the person he was destined to be with, not some sentence on his left shoulder.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THERE WILL BE MORE CHAPTERS! Promise! Love ya and hope you enjoy the first chapter.
> 
> (Kudos and comments fuel the writer) ;)

Every summer since Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. was eight years old, his parents dropped him off at a summer camp. It was on the northern side of Staten Island and along the water. The drop-off went the same every time. His mom would get out and hug him, and his dad would honk the horn as they drove off. A counselor would be there to help Sonny to his cabin where a second counselor would be waiting. That counselor is the cabins counselor and would be the person Carisi would be stuck with for the next week and a half. They would greet him with the same smile every time (because they knew him so well.) They would all say, "hey, Sonny! Ready for this summer?"

He would smile and say "you know it." He was known around the camp as the kid who didn't have a soulmate. Which was fine by him, he didn't really mind. That just meant he could have long talks about his soulmate-less life with his counselors and fellow cabin mates. Everyone knew that even if you don't get a soulmark at birth, it has a possibility of slowly developing as you get older.

"What do you imagine they're like?" They ask.

"Are they a girl or a boy?" It doesn't matter which.

"What do you imagine your first meeting to be like?" Carisi imagined it to be a normal afternoon, then bam! he has a soulmate.

He remembers when two counselors found out they were each others soulmate at camp. He was obviously unable to hear the conversation leading up to it, but suddenly everybody started clapping at the counselor named Alex was kissing the other named Robin. Sonny's heart soared as he watched the two sway in each other's arms. All he could think was, _I hope that can be me_.

Then came Sonny's age-out year. He was sixteen years old and in his last year at camp. All the counselors were looking forward to him coming on staff. Gracie walked him to his cabin as she made small talk regarding school and such. She wished him a good time at camp as she turned the other direction and Sonny walked into the cabin. The bunkbeds were empty thus far, but that's usual since his parents drop him off early. The counselor glances up at him from his bracelet-making. "Hey," he nods in Carisi's direction. Sonny puts up a hand as a "hello" and he tries to decide which bed to take. He steals a look towards the counselor. He looks older than Sonny, well, older than most counselors at camp. Most likely around twenty, twenty-one? He has styled brown hair that was kept off his face. His eyes reflect an emerald green as the sun hits them just right. Sonny swallows. The counselor is stunning.

Sonny turns and goes to throw his suitcase on the nearest top bunk, he hates being on the bottom. As he does so the wood below creaks, Sonny curses, and the whole top bed frame collapses. 

"Well that didn't fucking go as planned."

\---

Rafael freezes when the words spill from the campers mouth. His throat goes dry and his breathing turns shallow. He hears the words again in his head as he imagines the sentence scrawled out in messy writing on the back of his left shoulder. It could be a phantom pain, but his arm starts burning. He shakes the feeling away and goes to help.

"Don't worry about it, all the stuff here is super old. It was just a matter of time before something broke." Rafael said and reached into the mess to grab out the suitcase. The camper, his _soulmate_ , thanked him and bit his bottom lip.

"Sorry, I didn't mean-"

Rafael smiled, "you're fine I'll contact the handy-man and get him to fix it up by afternoon. I'm counselor Rafael Barba, and you?"

"Dominick Carisi Jr., but everyone calls me Sonny."

Rafael smiled wider, _cute_ , he thought. His Staten Island accent so thick it intertwined with every word he spoke. Every cell in Barba's body was telling him to reach up and kiss the sixteen-year-old in front of him and tell him that he was absolutely everything he had imagined and more. Something was holding him back. He wasn't sure if it was his own dilemma that being he wanted to be the one to choose his soulmate, not the other way around. But there was something else, something that felt as if he was physically being blocked from the camper in front of him.

\---

Turns out, since the camp is loosing stamina with campers, it would just be Rafael and Sonny in the cabin. Sonny didn't really have any objections, why would he? Rafael, on the other hand, wasn't so sure about it in the beginning. It was relatively awkward, but Sonny had a very extroverted personality and who could resist those blue eyes and dimples? 

It was difficult avoiding the subject of soulmates when Rafael was watching his from across the table. All of a sudden Sonny asked, "you have a soulmate, counselor?"

Rafael swallowed, finishing up the line on his bracelet before answering, "I do, I mean...I have a mark but I don't have anyone waiting at home for me." He finished with a smile.

Sonny nodded.

"What about you?"

Sonny shrugged, "I was born without a soulmark. I'm not sure if it'll ever form or not. I've done some research on it and found that it is extremely rare for people to be born without them and still have it not form later on in life. If I go past my twentieth birthday without any mark, it'll be official. I won't have one." Sonny gave a weak smile.

Rafael felt like fainting, like passing out. They weren't soulmates? Or were they just not tied to each other yet? It was like the feeling from before had just multiplied. The room started to sway back and forth as he got up and excused himself to the bathroom. Sonny watched him leave, wondering if he had said something to upset him.

Moments passed and Rafael didn't come back out. Sonny glanced at his watch and decided if he doesn't come out in the next minute he'd go check. The minute passed, and then the next. Sonny cursed and walked towards the bathrooms. "Rafael?" He called out.

There was a flushing of a toilet and the door swung open to the first stall. There Barba stood looking like all the blood drained from his face. "Sorry, I..." He trailed off and his eyes rolled back into his head. Sonny reached out and caught the counselor, just then realizing how small Rafael really was. "My...shoulder," he croaked, "it burns."

Sonny's stomach dropped and checked underneath the shirt to find the counselor's soulmark. What Sonny saw terrified him. It was burning a hot red and there ran a thick line, still forming, through the center of the soulmark. He had only heard of a few instances of this happening:

1) The person's soulmate died.

2) The person was mislabeled for a soulmate and actually did not have one.

3) They met their soulmate and...it didn't work out.

The third option has always been the scariest to Sonny. It happened to one of his sisters when she was in high school. They had met each other and the guy said "this is it? I'm supposed to spend my life with this tramp?" The guy had then turned and walked away. His sister had been in bed for the next week, pain and heartache slowly killing her.

"Counselor? Stay with me okay?" Sonny said and began to bring the counselor back to the main cabin. Then something really strange happened, a new soulmark began to form, one right below the old soulmark. A new soulmate? Sonny could't believe it. He began to read it, _Am I right, counselor?_

A shooting pain followed by a tingling feeling which shot up Sonny's right leg. He grunted into the pain, trying his hardest to keep them both upright. He battled against the darkness that was surrounding his peripheral vision. Soon enough, darkness overcame his vision completely.

\---

Sonny woke up in a hospital with one thought in his mind, _guess summer camp is a no-go this year_. He laughed at his remark in his head and tried to sit up but a blinding pain shot through his right leg which forced him back down. He furrowed his brow and tried to remember what had happened prior. He had gotten to the camp and met a counselor...what was his name again? Sonny's eyes shot open as everything came flooding back to him. The counselor had passed out due to a pain of...what exactly? The pain of getting a new soulmate? Sonny fainted too because...why did he faint?

He remembered his leg going numb...

Sonny rubbed his temple's as he felt a migraine coming on. He remembered..a shooting pain, and then he fainted. He rubbed at his leg and found it was extremely tender right below his boxer line. Sonny glanced around before lifting up the blankets and sheets to reveal a single word. Sonny grinned. No, beamed. It was only one word, but it was still a soulmark. It was _his_ soulmark. He read it upside down over and over again. _Seldom_.

That's when he noticed a slip of paper folded nicely and resting easily on the nightstand. Sonny picked it up and flipped it open, it read:

_Rafael Barba #: 333--------_

_Hope you are okay, text/call me when you can._


	2. Chapter 2

Carisi loved having a soulmate, it was just... his soulmark was so unspecific! It aggravated the hell out of Sonny. Some people are lucky enough to get lines such as, _not sure death by cab in front of a donut shop is the way to go,_ or, _it sucks being a Mets fan after a game like that, right?_ But no, Sonny (of course!) just got _Seldom_. And don't get Sonny wrong, he was ecstatic, but... really? That's it?

On the way out of the hospital he asked a nurse if Rafael Barba was still in the hospital. She said that he was checked out by his Grandmother earlier that day. Sonny's heart sunk in his chest. He wanted to say sorry for any trouble that he caused, and see if they could try again. Guess that won't be happening today.

Carisi dug his hands into his jacket and felt a piece of crumpled paper. He had forgotten all about the note Barba had left him. Sonny read it over quickly and typed the number into his phone just as fast. He decided to not call the counselor; texting was a better option.

S: Rafael, hi! It's Carisi from camp. You gave me your number. I hope you're okay, heard you were checked out this morning. Text me back whenever.

Sonny sighed and looked out the window. It couldn't have been more than two minutes when Sonny's phone buzzed.

R: Hi, Carisi. I'm fine, thank you for checking in. I hope you are okay as well. I think it is just the aftershock of not knowing entirely what transpired in that cabin. I'm headed to my home in Queens to rest, you should do the same.

S: Thanks Raf.

R: Rafael*

S: Rafi?

R: Rafael*

S: Rafa.

R: What part of Rafael* don't you understand?

S: haha, I think you are going to have to be more specific, Rafi.

R: What if I called you Cari?

R: Caris?

R: Car?

R: Dammit! You're name can't be shortened. Fuck you.

S: Guess my name is just superior.

R: Yeah, sure.

S: So you live in Queens? That's a large commute to Staten Island.

R: I guess, but my family owns a summer cabin in Staten Island, so I'm not too far away from family when at camp.

S: Ah, my family lives only 45 minutes away. I've never been to Queens or Manhattan before, always wanted to though.

R: Well if you do, call me and I can give you a true New Yorkers tour.

S: Hey now, people who live on Staten Island are still New Yorkers.

R: Debatable.

The conversations continued on and on. Carisi spent the majority of his summer texting Raphael back and forth and laughing to himself over some stupid comment one of them made. He learned Raphael wanted to be a DA; Raphael learned Carisi wanted to be a priest. They had made plans to meet up the following summer, but the plans fell through the moment school started. They would talk, just not as often. Raphael was in college, his sophomore year of college to be exact, and had to stick to the tight schedule at Harvard. Plus, it is just sort of hard to communicate with someone who feels like they are on the other side of the world.

Carisi began to check out law books from his high school and invested his energy into AP Government and Politics. He spent the first half of the school year holed away in his room, living off of corn chips and water. When summer came around Carisi wasn't sure if he should contact Barba or not. He sent a quick "hey," just to see if the college student would reply. Nothing came for two straight weeks and by that time Carisi had girls flinging themselves at him. His growth spurt kicked in fast, as did his muscles once he joined the track team. Sonny also took up a lifeguarding job.

He would spend the majority of the summer down at the shoreline tossing volleyballs around. He made out with two different girls that summer. One took place after his shift of lifeguarding. A girl had approached him saying she tripped and wanted a band aid. She did not, as Carisi soon found out. They walked to the guard shed and once inside the girl closed the door and practically pounced on Carisi. He doesn't want to say he felt nothing, because he did. He felt _something_ but it just wasn't _right_. He couldn't tell if it was the fact he knew this girl had a soulmate, and he knew it wasn't him. Or if it was because she wasn't Raphael.

The second girl was a lot sweeter than the first. Carisi and her actually formed a relationship before making out. She was in AP Gov with him and they had shared notes a couple times. She was sweet and deserved to find her soulmate. Then one night at a campfire their mutual friends were hosting out on the shoreline, it happened. She had asked if she and Carisi could talk in private. He obliged. They went along a path that lead down to the shore. She confessed to him. He took her offer to date. They kissed. Their relationship ended when Carisi kissed a guy.

It wasn't a huge deal, she didn't catch him in the act or anything of the sort. Carisi had ended it saying "I'm not ready for a relationship." Which really meant "you have boobs and vagina and I don't like that." 

The guy Carisi kissed looked nothing like Raphael, but Carisi pretended he was. The kiss happened as a seven-minutes-in-heaven type of situation. They were mutual friends and they were just fooling around as a group, playing truth and dare and such. Carisi was dared to go in with the bisexual guy friend of the group. They got into the bathroom laughing about the situation. They somehow got on the topic of how Carisi wasn't totally sure he liked girls, and the guy said "do you want to try kissing a guy?"

"Who am I going to kiss?" Carisi asked, which was a stupid question because, duh, obviously the guy he was trapped in a room with.

Carisi wasn't really sure what to do at first, it didn't come as easy as approaching a girl. As the friend approached him Carisi tried to find a right place of his hands. The guy laughed and grabbed Carisi's arms wrapping them around his waist. "Relax," he whispered and leaned in. From there it was like pure magic. They lips worked well together, and for a second Carisi wondered if they were soulmates because it just felt so _damn good_. When the guy pulled away Carisi tried following him and he laughed.

"Getting needy are we?"

Carisi smiled, "you know it felt good too."

The guy hmm-d and was about to lean in again when there was a knock at the door. "Time's up!" The other friends yelled.

That's how Carisi realized he was gay. And also that was the story of how he and the guy secretly made out from time-to-time.

Another school year and summer passed without any word from Raphael and so Carisi graduated. He joined the Academy and forgot all about the guy friend he had made out with during his senior year. Carisi bounced from job to job for a few years. He worked homicide for a while before realizing it really wasn't for him. He moved out of Staten Island because, well, the place is like a bubble. Sonny ended up in Manhattan and hoped to land a job at SVU. He spend the first week there touring around with his sister, hoping to learn the terrain a bit. When he got the good news he was ready to start his first day on the job. He walked in all smiles and moustache. For a split second, as he got his badge and gun from Lieutenant Benson, he remembered Raphael Barba. He wondered where he was at this point. Is he a DA like he always wanted to be? Did he make it out of law school? Has he met his soulmate? The one who will ask him _am I right, counselor?_

Carisi didn't realize how soon all his questions would be answered.


End file.
